Artistic Sublimities
by PwnedByPineapple
Summary: In all his wildest imaginings, he'd never expected it to end this way. There was blood everywhere, scarlet against cold pavement, and ragged breathing, fading with every passing second.


In all his wildest imaginings (and Shawn had a very vivid imagination), he'd never expected it to end this way.

Blood everywhere, scarlet against cold pavement.

Ragged breathing, fading with every passing second.

He felt strangely detached, though he couldn't be sure if it was an effect from the suspicious nachos he'd eaten for lunch or from the ghastly scene that kept repeating in his mind, over and over. It couldn't be that bad, could it? There was no way. He tried to analyze it, tried to make sense of it all, but he was having a hard time concentrating. The present kept trying to pull him forward, while the past was tugging him back. It was a demented game of tug-o-war.

Back. There was a gun in the man's hand.

Forward. Were those flashing lights? He couldn't be sure. Things were becoming a bit blurry.

Back. Somehow, the gun had fired.

Forward. He could hear footsteps.

Back. A splatter of red.

Forward. The edges were dimming.

Back. The shooter was running.

And forward, as everything faded slowly to black.

Silence reigned, but it was immediately followed by a snort of derision. "What the hell was _that_?"

Beside him, Gus actually looked offended. "Don't tell me you didn't like it."

"Fine. I think it was stupid." Shawn rolled his eyes as the credits appeared and somber music drifted towards them. "Worst B-movie ever."

"Shawn!"

"What? I didn't tell you that I didn't like it."

Gus fumed for a moment. "You just can't appreciate under-appreciated film-making."

"Yes, and that made sense," said Shawn, with a tone that hinted at sarcasm. "Can we please return to the land of 'why in the name of Wal-Mart's pineapples did I let you talk me into watching this movie while we wasted a perfectly good storm'? Dude! Our power didn't go out! There were golden opportunities waiting to be had during a thunderstorm, and now they've gone!"

"You obviously don't comprehend the artistic subtleties that were intertwined with the storyline!"

Shawn sighed. Gus was using big words again. "Gus, don't be a supercilious food critic. Explain to me, then, the artistic sublimities or whatever you just said."

Gus immediately adopted what Shawn had begun referring to as his 'college professor stance'. "This movie, Shawn, may have been underrated and looked down upon by most of the film world, but true film lovers will all agree that it represents the internal struggles of mankind against primitive instincts and the ultimate failure to contain the evil that wreaks itself upon the earth."

Shawn was silent for a moment, thinking. "You lost me at 'underrated'. The main character _dies_, Gus, and we don't even get a teary funeral scene complete with an attractive mourning girlfriend, nor do we know if the bad guy was ever caught."

Gus looked exasperated. "That's the _point_."

Shawn wasn't sure, but it seemed to him that the point was that B-movies were better left for trips on airplanes when there was nothing to do anyway. He jumped out of his seat decisively, for once knowing when it was better not to argue. "Fine. Whatever you say, Gus. You're the man."

His best friend looked at him suspiciously. "Shawn, I don't think you really understand -,"

"Alright!" Shawn announced. "Now that the thunderstorm is gone and our day has been effectively squandered, what say we drop by the police station and see what cases we can insinuate ourselves into?"

Gus was still protesting. "No, I really think you should consider this -,"

With an expression of extreme gravity (that most people had learned to either run from or prepare to throw objects at), Shawn lay a hand on his friend's shoulder. "I understand, Gus, I _know_. It was a deep movie. All I needed was your highly sophisticated explanation to make sense of it for me. Thank you… and I mean that from the bottom of my heart."

Far too used to false sincerity from Shawn to believe this, Gus regarded him with great disbelief. But Shawn knew he didn't want to argue, which was why Gus didn't speak, merely nodded. Smiling to himself, Shawn grabbed his coat and headed for the door. Just as he grasped the handle and half-turned it, he hesitated, glancing back at Gus with undisguised amusement on his face.

"And we both know the only reason you wanted to watch the movie was because of the part where the girlfriend is half-naked in the rain."

He ducked the flying objects aimed at his head and laughed, slipping through the door.


End file.
